On a beautiful, sun-drenched July afternoon, I had the joy of officiating a very special wedding at Starbank Park in Edinburgh. Nestled between the sea and the city, this lovingly cared-for green space became the perfect setting for a celebration full of heart, creativity and community spirit.
Calum & Gilly chose to marry beneath the park’s big tree … a natural, grounded backdrop that gave the ceremony a sense of calm and connection. They had decorated the space with lanterns hanging from the branches, vibrant chalk drawings on the path, and blooms of fresh flowers, transforming the area into a colourful and welcoming celebration spot.
Because Starbank Park remained open to the public, passers-by were treated to a little unexpected joy as they paused quietly to watch. It felt like the whole park was sharing in the happiness of the day.
The ceremony itself was rich with personal touches. We included a Handfasting ritual, with both mums taking part … a beautiful moment symbolising the joining of two families. And to close, the couple shared a dram from the quaich, Scotland’s traditional cup of friendship. Then, in a lovely touch of hospitality, everyone was offered a wee miniature of whisky to toast the newlyweds.
It was one of those days that reminds me exactly why I love what I do … full of love, laughter, and the unique beauty that comes from a couple making their ceremony their own.
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Weddings are more than just a celebration of love between two people; they are also a testament to the bonds and legacies that shape our lives. When we stand at the altar, we carry with us the hopes and dreams of not just ourselves, but also those who have come before us. In this photo, we see Josh proudly wearing his buttonhole adorned with two precious rings, each with its own unique story. These rings belonged to his mother and grandmother, and in their absence, they became a powerful symbol of their continued presence. In this blog post, we explore the beautiful tradition of passing on heirlooms and how it can bring the presence of lost loved ones into a wedding ceremony.
A Symbol of Unbroken Connection
The concept of incorporating heirlooms into wedding ceremonies is a heartfelt tradition that has been cherished for generations. These heirlooms, whether it’s a piece of jewellery, a photo, or another meaningful item, serve as a tangible link to the past, connecting the bride and groom to their family’s history and the love that has been passed down through the years.
In Josh’s case, these rings, once worn by two extraordinary women in his life, now symbolise an unbroken connection between generations. As he stands on the threshold of a new chapter, the groom is not alone; he carries the love and wisdom of the women who helped shape him.
Honouring and Remembering
Incorporating heirlooms into a wedding ceremony is a touching way to honour and remember loved ones who are no longer with us. It allows their presence to be felt, even in their physical absence. As Josh stepped into the commitment of marriage with Denese, the rings served as a constant reminder of the love and guidance he received from his mother and grandmother throughout his life.
For many couples, including such heirlooms is a way to pay tribute to the values and traditions that have been passed down through the generations. It’s a way to say, “We are grateful for the love and wisdom that has brought us to this moment, and we carry that love with us as we begin our own journey together.”
Passing on the Legacy
The act of passing on heirlooms during a wedding ceremony is not only about remembering those who have passed away; it’s also about continuing the legacy. It’s about entrusting the next generation with the responsibility of carrying forward the love, values, and traditions that have been so important to the family. As Josh wears those rings, he is not only honouring their memory but also committing to keep their love alive in his own family.
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If you have watched any of my live streamed Ceremonies, you may well have noticed that when it comes to the part where the couple exchange their Vows, I (or a few of the guests) wander around the couple scattering petals, placing stones or asking the guests to form a circle around the couple.
Yesterday, I had a lovely message from a Celebrant in the US, asking about the idea behind it.
This beautiful ritual is called a ‘Caim’.
The Gaelic word ‘Caim’ means ‘circle’ or ‘to bend’, and traditionally the Caim was used in Celtic Wedding Ceremonies as a way of protecting the bride & groom as they betrothed their lives to each other. To do this, guests would form a circle around the couple while saying a Caim prayer (prayer of protection). The Caim was said to invoke the protection of the Sacred, and when accompanied by prayer would ground those within the circle, and make them one with the Universe. But as well as giving the couple protection, a Caim also signifies wholeness and communion, because through the commitment the couple are making they are uniting together as one, and also joining together two families (or centuries ago, two clans).
Interestingly, the Caim Ritual wasn’t something I consciously set out to include in my Ceremonies. Instead (like most of the rituals I use) it grew organically through trying to deepen a couple’s connection with each other and with ceremony.
I’m blessed that most of my Ceremonies are filled with laughter, but what I was finding was that when we arrived at the Vow taking ceremony, we (couple, guests and I) were often still in that fun & capricious place (the second & third chakras), when we really needed to have dropped into the heart space (4th chakra). This meant that this part of the Ceremony sometimes felt devoid of at least some of the majesty it warranted.
And so, I began to think about how I could deepen & insulate this part of the ceremony, and I came up with the idea of creating a Caim around the couple. This would symbolise them being surrounded and protected by the Sacred as they revealed their heart’s intention & truth to each other. This has since become one of the most important rituals in my Ceremonies, and has not only become much loved by couples and guests alike, but it adds the most amazing level of depth and meaning to the Ceremony. A beautiful, sacred space in which two people can feel as if they are in their own wee bubble.
And you don’t even need to get married to harness the power of the Caim! All you need to do is point your finger to the ground and draw an imaginary circle around you, encircling yourself with protection.
So that’s the Caim, a beautiful, ancient Wedding ritual that has been used for centuries to encircle a couple with love, protection and a big spoonful of Celtic magick!
Braw!
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Then last night I was reading the visitor’s book, and in it the owner tells the story of how the blackhouse was built by her grandfather, and she describes spending wonderful summers here with her siblings, and then when she got older, she and her husband took it over and restored it to the welcoming house it is today.
And at the end it says….
P.s. Mairi Bhisa, my Grandmother had her wedding dance in this blackhouse, so imagine it filled with music and people whirling & birling.
Wow! What an amazing image! And another reminder of how these old buildings and stones keep the memories (and secrets!) of all that’s gone before 
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